top of page

Have you ever wanted to be a crocodile?

 

Have you ever been put down by a sarcastic smartass and only came up with the perfect comeback when you were by yourself in the car listening to “You Oughta Know” by  Alanis Morissette?

 

Are you reading these words right now?

 

If you answered yes to one of the questions above, you NEED a vacuum cleaner.

 

But not just any vacuum cleaner.

 

You need THIS vacuum cleaner.

 

I mean, THIS one!

 

 

 

As you may or may not know, each week I barter one item for another of higher value as part of a university project. I started with a pen, bartered it for some jewelry and bartered the jewelry for this unbelievable piece of American Heritage.  

 

This vacuum cleaner , AKA Mr. Hoover, is the electrical appliance equivalent of Forrest Gump.. except Mr Hoover knows how to keep his Jenny!

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Hoover’s story is so unique, you will probably give me anything I want just to have him.

 

In 1969, President Nixon personally requested Mr. Hoover to accompany the crew of Apollo 11 to the moon. Nixon was said to have been dustophobic * and wanted Armstrong and Aldrin  to “clean up that damn great ball of cheese in the sky”.  Here is a classified NASA photo of Mr. Hoover in action. If he cleaned up the dust on the moon, just think what he can do to that filthy stinky place you call home!

 

 

 

Mr. Hoover was then involved in a terrible sex scandal involving Nixon’s Latina house maid and a sombrero. He subsequently disappeared for a few decades.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Hoover resurfaced in 1995 as Michael Jordan’s business manager and was the one that convinced Jordan to leave basketball, become a baseball player, create a perfume, open a steakhouse and buy the Bobcats.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Hoover has also been connected to some of the worst atrocities committed in the United States.

 

Yes, I am talking about the 2004 Warner Bros movie "Catwoman". 

 

Halle Berry has since been brought to justice for this steaming pile of kitty litter. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Following Mr. Hoover's most recent and embarrassing attempts to work as a spy, the CIA has been more than happy to barter with me..

 

and that’s how I ended up with Mr. Hoover, the most awesome vacuum cleaner in my room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Hoover needs a new owner. 

 

Would you like to own him?

 

email me at 

penbarterchallenge@gmail.com

 

and tell me what you have to barter!

 

He is a fantastically strong vacuum cleaner..and he certainly does.. suck!**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*fear of dust is actually amathophobia but Google didn’t exist in 1969 so that’s the term they used

 

** Joke stolen from Wayne’s World  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AioVDsXidh0

Week 3 - Mr. Hoover - The most fantastic vacuum cleaner in the world. 

bottom of page